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Should British government spies get bonuses?

Spying on peaceful protesters has been stepped up considerably and a huge central data base has been created by the British government. The data gathering is so aggressive, that CIA is currently investigating whether the bonuses being refused to bankers are being now paid to spies. A report from Faslane, Scotland.

On March 11th, 2009, CIA agents Bonya and Lilith II particpated in the weekly vigil in Faslane, Scotland, the home base of the British nuclear submarines.

The weekly vigil is a completely peaceful and legal gathering that involves a bunch of people and 1-3 cow agents putting up banners and hanging around the front entrance of the base in lousy weather, greeting and waving to workers leaving the base and explaining to Ministry of Defence  police offers working at the base why nuclear weapons are dangerous and what peace alternatives exist.

Until recently those meetings went on rather undisturbed. Recently, police have been taking pictures and asking questions in a rather aggressive way. An anonymous source claims that the government, which is coming under increasing criticism for lacking intelligent ways for tackling the financial crisis, has now decided to gather loads of any intelligence whatsoever, hoping that this way they can maybe come up with an intelligent solution after all. No evidence for these claims has been put forward so far.

Searant Joe (face changed for privacy reasons)

Sergeant Joe* (face changed for privacy reasons)

At yesterday’s weekly vigil, intelligence gathering Sergeant Joe* insisted on taking pictures of all new people he did not recognize,   asking them for their first name, surname, address, e-mail, website, asking them to take their hat off in pouring rain (presumably so that he could take a  picture of their hair), asking where they go next, if and when they will go on a protest and any other privacy question he could think of.  No questions of relevance to the prevention of war crimes, crimes on humanity and terrorism (i.e. for the scrapping of nuclear weapons) were asked by the seargeant.

Evidence thus suggests that police spying work about as counterproductive for the common good as the work done by certain banks. The chances of Seargeant Joe being offered a bonus for his untiring work to help create more databases and destroy the little remaining the privacy of peace activists are thus rather slim.  He therefore must be fuelled by something else than a promised bonus and the money refused to bankers does not seem to be paid to government spies instead. Maybe cows would have a chance if they applied?

*name changed to protect privacy


Helensburgh Eyecare Notice - 13 March 2009

Helensburgh Eyecare Notice - 13 March 2009

The CIA has discovered that a new eyecare facility will be opened near the base soon, so even if no intelligent ways of disposing of nuclear weapons are found, at least can the captains of nuclear submarines now can get their eyes checked  more easily, which might possibly reduce the risk them bumping into other nuclear submarines (we are aware that this proposal is of course complete nonsense, but so is suggesting that various submarines full of deadly nuclear weapons travel the oceans without them being able to see each other – or making them visible and liable to attacks – the only way to make them safe is to take them off patrol immediately and decommision them).

More information on the spying on peaceful protesters: Revealed: police database on thousands of protesters